New Year, New You vs. Real Life
I don’t know about you, but I get motivated at the start of the new year for different personal goals, but that energy tends to fade as time passes. On January 1st, it feels like this will be the year everything clicks. But now, in February, reality has set in. For many, an ice storm and a week of shoveling snow put a damper on that New Year spark. Do we make plans assuming life will cooperate? Will it be easy? That is funny, but we all seem to do it.
When routines get sidelined by weather, sick kids, or a chaotic work week, people often blame themselves when they fall off track. I want to offer a different perspective. If you set big goals and life got busy, congratulations. You are one step closer to understanding what will work for you. You learned what didn't work. That is data. Now use that data and move on. Don’t think of it as starting over, It’s more like starting smarter.
Turning Perceived Failure into Useful Data
People often keep trying different versions of the same thing, like extreme diets, and wonder why nothing changes. They think it’s their fault they can’t keep up, rather than acknowledging it’s a flaw in the program. If a plan doesn't match real life, preferences, or experience level, it won’t work. That’s not how real-world long-lasting behavior change works. You can’t simply force yourself into better health. You have to experiment and see what works for your life, brain, and body. Once we learn what doesn’t work for us, we can pivot into what does.
This is different from the guilt-based messaging you have likely heard, such as the idea that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Of course, we don't. I don't have kids, and pretending my life matches a working mom with four is silly. I don’t coach from my experience. I coach to help you figure out what makes sense for your life today, not an idealized version of it. If we wait for life to calm down, we may wait forever.
Use the Dimmer Switch
Instead of struggling and suffering through a plan that doesn't fit your actual life, you can start practicing skills that survive a bad week. I like to think of habits as a dimmer switch rather than a light switch. Most people treat their health habits like an on/off switch. When life gets messy (or an ice storm hits), they flip the switch off and wait for things to calm down. Instead, try using a dial. If a ten is your ideal day and life gets unpredictable, you don't have to stop or quit. You just dial it down to a two. Maybe that means a five-minute YouTube guided stretch instead of a full gym session. You stay in the habit without the pressure of being perfect. This completely transforms the way you think about health and fitness, ending the all-or-nothing thinking pattern forever. All-or-nothing usually leads to nothing, but the consistency and mindset shift of always being on (even just a little) leads to real results over time.
Audit Your Environment
We also have to look at your environment. If the weather kept you trapped inside and your routine fell apart, that is just more data. It shows you where your environment wasn't supporting you when things got tough. This is an opportunity to look at what you can learn for next time. Did you have easy options in the pantry when you couldn't get to the store? Did you have a space to move your body when the gym was closed? Use this information to set up your surroundings to support you so the next time life gets weird (and it will), you aren't starting over.
Celebrating What IS WORKING
We also need to get better at acknowledging what is actually going right. Are you ignoring your small wins because you are focused on what didn’t go as planned? If you managed to stay hydrated or took a few deep breaths during a stressful workday, or fit in a short workout, that is a success. Recognizing these moments helps build the confidence to keep going. It shifts the focus from what you didn't do to the progress you are making. If beating ourselves up worked, it would have worked by now. Why not try another approach?
Build Habits That Survive the STRESS
Focus more on how to make habits stick in your real, busy, messy life. There is no waiting for life to calm down or for the perfect time. If we can build small habits when life is busy, we can build on them in the mythical time life slows down. Don't start Monday or tomorrow, or the first day of the next month. Start with the next small choice you have today. When you let go of having to be perfect, you can start to see real change.
If you are ready for coaching support to stop the cycle of starting and stopping, sign up today for my next five-week app-based, coach-supported challenge. The Love Your Habits onboarding starts on February 16th and I’ve lowered the price for this go-around to make it more accessible. This is an opportunity for busy people who want to improve their daily habits without feeling like they have to fight against their own lives to see results. Over these five weeks, we will focus on the specific skills and small adjustments that make a healthy lifestyle feel natural. To reserve your spot, check it out here. I would love to have you in this group. I am limiting it to 10 spots so everyone can get personalized coaching. Are you in?
Questions? I’d love to help.
Lea
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Lea Genders is a board-certified health coach, personal trainer, and workplace wellness consultant based in Fort Worth, TX. She offers corporate wellness programs for employee health and productivity, as well as in-person and virtual training / coaching for individuals worldwide. Her blog shares expert guidance on strength training, running, and sustainable nutrition @fortworth_trainer
I don’t know about you, but I get motivated at the start of the year only to have that energy fade by February. On January 1st, it feels like this will finally be the year everything clicks. Then reality sets in. For many, an ice storm and a week of shoveling snow put out the spark. But what if falling off track isn't a failure? What if it's actually the data you need to start smarter? Let's talk about the dimmer switch method and how to build habits that survive your real, messy life.