Have you ever seen those dramatic before-and-after pictures online? I have, and I even have one myself.
But my before-and-after photos are ten years apart, and the last 'after' was four years ago. I don’t know about you, but I’m still living my life. The reality is, in your health and fitness journey, there isn’t really an after picture, unless we are talking about the very end of life. Before-and-after photos make it seem like the middle is just something to get through, something you have to endure until you reach the finish line.
As a coach, I know the real magic isn’t in the photo, no matter how good it looks. It’s in getting through a tough Tuesday when you’re tired, and the fridge is empty. It’s doing the workout when you don’t want to, and realizing you’re stronger carrying that 25-pound bag of dog food than you were before.
Before-and-after photos ignore the most important skill, navigating the middle. That’s the journey you’re in right now, and so am I. People often share transformations by saying, "It was so hard, and I overcame, and now I am on the other side of it." But no one talks about the messy middle while they are in it.
Even after you reach today’s goal, you’ll likely set new ones. Sometimes we make goals and later decide we’re not ready to do what it takes, and that’s okay. Sometimes we change direction, slip up, make mistakes, and then make progress again.
It’s all part of the process. Anyone who claims it’s easy or smooth sailing isn’t being honest. I’m trained in this; I’m on my own journey, and I help many others with their health and fitness, yet I continue to learn new things from my clients whose experiences differ from mine.
In case you were feeling stuck, confused, or not sure what to do next, I want you to realize that the middle is what counts. That’s where your real life happens and where you have the opportunity to make real changes. It is exactly where you are supposed to be right now.
Why do we focus on the destination instead of the journey?
Our brains want security. We want a goal and a clear map. We write it down, make plans, and start. Then life happens, like a winter storm or an unforeseen deadline, and we feel like we’ve failed when the only thing we got wrong was forgetting to account for real life.
We need to have goals, but when we are too focused on the outcome, we miss the chance to realize that learning and growing is the whole point. If we could snap our fingers and get fit all at once, we would miss 99% of the good stuff that comes out of going through it. Focus on your goals, but figure out how to enjoy the process along the way.
Validating the reality of weight fluctuations and stress
Weight fluctuation is normal, and fat loss is rarely linear. When we learn to expect the ups and downs (literally and figuratively), we can trust that we are on the right track.
I had a meeting with a financial advisor, and she had me fill out a form to determine my risk tolerance. One question asked: if the market dropped and your portfolio lost $10,000 in a month, would you be tempted to liquidate or change your strategy? Or would you stay the course, knowing you have twenty more years to let it grow?
Health and fitness work the same way. Maybe you lose a little weight, but then you get discouraged when the scale jumps up one week or your weight plateaus for a couple of weeks (or months). Many people panic and want to “change their investments” instead of staying the course. But continuing the healthy habits that yield high returns over the next twenty years is always more effective than jumping on the next fitness trend.
Maybe we need more open conversations about hormones, lack of sleep, and high-stress workweeks. These are normal parts of real life. Your weight will fluctuate based on salt-intake, inflammation or (women) where you are in your cycle. Stress is going to happen. It's much easier when we don’t expect a smooth ride, but instead learn to handle these challenges as a normal part of the process.
Building skills when life gets busy
People often make the mistake of saying they will start their exercise plan or wellness journey when life calms down, when they finish this project, or when the kids are back in school (or off to college!). But we don’t learn much when life is easy, and learning is the whole point.
If you can make small improvements when your calendar is full and life is stressful, just imagine what you can do when it calms down. (That does happen sometimes, right?)
Then, when life inevitably gets busy again, you’ll already have the skills and habits to stay consistent through it. Learning healthy habits while life is busy is a gift that will serve you well in the future.
It’s simple to eat well and stay active during a calm week. But the messy middle is where the real skill-building happens. This is when you practice microhabits or adjust your expectations based on what’s going on that day. Maybe you can’t fit in a 45-minute workout, but you can go for a walk. When you view that adjustment as a win rather than a setback, you start to build the kind of resilience and mindset that supports long-term consistency and success.
Finding meaning in the middle
Take a moment to remember why you started. If your goal is to feel better, get better sleep, age well, and manage the demands of your job or family, then showing up for a ten-minute walk during a hard week is a huge success. Lean into your wins. Remind yourself that this is a lifelong journey, and every micro-decision you make in the right direction adds up. We are in the middle, and it’s beautiful here.
Need help with this stuff? That’s why I am here! Let’s chat.
Lea
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Lea Genders is a board-certified health coach, personal trainer, and workplace wellness consultant based in Fort Worth, TX. She offers corporate wellness programs for employee health and productivity, as well as in-person and virtual training / coaching for individuals worldwide. Her blog shares expert guidance on strength training, running, and sustainable nutrition @fortworth_trainer
Before and after photos make it seem like the middle is just something to endure until you reach the end. The reality is that there isn’t really an after picture. The real magic happens in the messy middle. It is found in getting through a tough Tuesday when you’re tired and the fridge is empty. Here is why the middle is where your real life happens and how to find meaning in the journey.