Mindset work isn’t new to me. I’ve been teaching, writing, and coaching others through it for years. But while working on new projects and navigating big shifts in my business, I noticed something: my thinking was getting in the way.
I could name the thoughts and see the patterns, but I still felt stuck. It was like trying to think myself out of a problem, and it wasn’t working. I already understood how mindset impacts us on an intellectual level. I needed to experience it more fully, to feel the shift, not just explain it or attempt to reframe it.
That led me to two books that challenged how I relate to my thoughts: Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine and The Inside-Out Revolution by Michael Neill. I also enrolled in a continuing education Positive Intelligence course for health coaches to help me integrate these ideas more deeply into my personal life and my client work.
Writing helps me process what I’m learning. Sharing it helps me absorb it more fully. And maybe it helps someone else along the way.
Understanding the Judge: My Most Familiar Saboteur
In Positive Intelligence, Chamine introduces the idea of “saboteurs,” automatic thought patterns that create stress, self-doubt, and mental roadblocks. These voices are often so familiar that we mistake them for truth. Each of us has a unique mix of saboteurs, shaped by our early environment and reinforced by habit.
One of my strongest saboteurs is the Judge.
It’s not a new voice. It’s been with me for decades, and I thought it was helpful for a long time. I believed it kept me focused and motivated. But I’ve come to see that the Judge isn’t guidance, it’s pressure. It doesn’t coach, it criticizes. It drains energy, creates urgency where none is needed, and keeps me second-guessing even when doing meaningful work.
The Judge often sounds logical, which makes it harder to question. But I’m learning to pause and recognize it a thought, not a fact, and ask, “Is this actually helping me?”
The Thoughts That Create Pressure Aren’t Facts
The Inside-Out Revolution builds on the idea that we are not experiencing our circumstances, we are experiencing our thoughts about them.
It’s not the number on the scale that creates panic; it’s the story someone tells themselves about what that number means. I’ve seen clients step on the scale after a strong week of workouts and spiral, not because of the data, but because of their thoughts: This isn’t working. I’m failing. What’s the point?
I’ve felt it too. The stress isn’t coming from the task itself. It’s coming from the thought spiral around it.
It’s not the presentation or the event that creates anxiety. The mental loop kicks in: What if I mess up? What if I forget something? What if no one signs up? Who is silently judging me?
A local health fair hired me to run a booth. My first response was anxiety. The thoughts came fast—Am I prepared? What if I don’t do a good job? But then I paused and reminded myself: it’s just a thought. Nothing had actually happened.
I felt relief. Not because I figured out how to control my thoughts, but because I stopped for a second before believing them. And more than that, I stopped assigning them meaning. I saw them for what they were: familiar patterns, often based on nothing real.
That shift didn’t come from trying to reframe or override the thought. It came from seeing that the idea itself was the only thing in my way. When I learned to dismiss those thoughts for what they are, not truth, instruction, or evidence, I felt the tension ease. I experienced what it feels like to let go of a thought that doesn’t serve me and rest in the quiet clarity that follows.
Learning to Lead with Calm, Even in Uncertainty
This shift is changing how I show up in my business. For me, the anxiety often sounds like, What if I can’t do this? What if I fail?
I’m not pretending I’ve mastered it. I still have those moments. But I’m more aware now. I can recognize those old thoughts for what they are and choose not to give them so much weight.
When I lead from calm, even for just a moment, I make clearer decisions, communicate more honestly, and don’t spiral as often. And even when I do, I come back faster.
It’s about learning to operate from clarity instead of fear. Over and over again.
Creating Space for Growth by Turning Down the Noise
Running a business means stepping into the unknown again and again. It brings up doubt. It stirs up old habits of overthinking and overplanning.
But I don’t have to solve it all with more effort. I’m learning to trust the next small step, to let go of the noise.
The voice of calm isn’t passive; it’s powerful. It helps me move forward with purpose without putting myself under stress.
What This Looks Like in Practice
When I notice the Judge creeping in, I pause. I don’t try to fix the thought. I don’t argue with it. I see it. And in that space between noticing and reacting, I get to choose something else.
I choose the voice that leads with love. The one that asks, What am I already doing well? Where have I seen progress? What am I good at, and how can I build on that?
It’s the voice that encourages curiosity instead of panic. It asks, What’s one creative way I could move through this? What’s possible from here?
That voice doesn’t yell or push. It guides. And it reminds me that I’m more capable than my old thought patterns would have me believe.
That voice may be my true self. Maybe it’s God. Perhaps it’s intuition, or something deeper I don’t need to name. But I know it serves me well to tune in to that calm, wise part of me—the Sage—and tune out the loud, negative voice that’s just trying to keep me small.
That voice has always been there. I’m just listening to it more now.
Questions That Shift Everything
If you’re working through a transition, building something new, or just noticing that your thoughts have been louder than your clarity lately, I’ll leave you with this:
What if you could recognize that your thoughts aren’t real?
What if your inner critic isn’t telling the truth?
What if the pressure is coming from your thinking, not your situation?
What if calm is already within reach, and learning to hear it is the most powerful next step?
This is the work I’m doing. This is what I’m practicing. And if any of this sounds familiar, or if it can help you, you’re not alone.
Questions? I’d love to help.
Lea
I’m a board-certified health coach, personal trainer, running coach, and workplace wellness consultant dedicated to helping you get strong in both body and mind.
What if your thoughts aren’t the truth—just habits you’ve never questioned?
In this post, I share how mindset work shifted for me when I stopped trying to control my thoughts and started seeing them for what they are. I share how one of my most common negative thought patterns, the inner critic, shows up in my thinking, and what happens when I stop assigning meaning to every anxious thought. I also talk about tuning in to the quieter voice, the one that leads with curiosity, calm, and creativity.