You Might Be a Runner If...

Runner’s are weird…well, most of us. We act in ways that regular people don’t understand, yet it’s typical behavior in the running community. We speak our own language, and we use words like “easy” and “five miles” in the same sentence to the dismay of our non-runner friends.

We have seemingly strange motivations; a t-shirt and a medal get us out of bed early on a Sunday morning; Not to mention our unique sleep, eating, and (clears throat) bathroom habits.

If running is in your blood or if you’ve ever felt the pull to the pavement, I’m sure you can relate to a few of these.

You Might Be a Runner If… you save this to your favorite Pinterest board to laugh at later.

You Might Be a Runner If… you save this to your favorite Pinterest board to laugh at later.

In my best Jeff Foxworthy voice, I introduce…


  • You wake up earlier on the weekends than during the week

  • You have no problem spending $50 ro run a 5K, but spend frugally on non-running activities

  • You know what a negative split means and you do it regularly

  • You genuinely appreciate porta-potties

  • You wouldn’t dream of ending a run on an uneven number (unless it’s 3.1, 6.2, 13.1 or 26.2)

  • You own more running shoes than regular shoes

  • You laugh politely (and roll your eyes) when people make bad running jokes (Run? I only run when someone is chasing me! How many miles? I’m exhausted from driving that far.)

  • You know better than to wear cotton

  • You have a runner’s tan (sock lines, Garmin lines, shorts lines, racerback lines)

  • You’ve used the words “only” or “easy” when describing a 10K

  • Everyone on Instagram knows you run every day

  • At least one of your social handles or emails has the word runner in it

  • You pray for an overcast 45 degrees weather forecast

  • You vote yes on the “leggings are pants” debate

  • You plan your annual vacations around out-of-town races

  • You lost a toenail and wear your naked toe bed as a badge of honor

  • You pooped your pants on a run (or at least came close)!

  • Peeing in the bushes is not out of the realm of possibilities

  • You get jealous when you see a runner when you’re not running

  • You’ve experienced runner’s high

  • You know exactly the one mile marker in every direction from your house

  • You feel bad for the technician when you get a pedicure

  • You’re a proud member of the sport bra squad

  • You happily spend full price on running clothes, but buy your work clothes from the clearance rack.

  • You know that your stomach is a endless, bottomless pit the day after your long run

  • You dress up your running tights and wear them to work (and hope no one notices)

  • Running is your therapy

  • You think running hills is fun

  • You have a Pinterest board dedicated to running

  • You pay attention of the color of your pee

  • You see a runner in your neighborhood you wonder why you’re not already friends

  • You don’t laugh when you hear the word Fartlek (anymore)

  • You live in the US and totally understand the metric system

  • You have at least one running sticker on your car

  • Your friend asks you to meet for lunch and you ask if you can wear your running tights

  • You bring toilet paper with you on a long run, just in case

  • You’ve tried to talk your non-runner friend into running “just” a 5K

  • You’ve made a wrong turn and gotten lost on a run

  • People ask you what you’re doing this weekend, and the answer is always running

  • Your laundry is more than 50% running clothes

  • Dry shampoo and the phrase “run hair, don’t care” are a way of life

  • You skip the parties and go to bed at 9 PM on Saturday night

  • You’ve tried to think of a good comeback from when someone yells at you “Run Forrest Run”

  • There are more ice packs in your freezer than ice cubes

  • The local running store is where “Everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.”

  • The sign on the highway says five miles to exit and you think, I could run that

  • You have at least one drawer overflowing with race shirts

  • You have lucky socks

  • You named your dog Meb

  • You’re stuck in traffic and you realize you could run home faster

  • You have to use special anti-stink laundry detergent

  • You don’t wash your hair after your run so you have time to run three more miles

  • You accept chafing as a fact of life

  • You get mad when someone calls you a jogger

  • You get mad when the news station calls someone else a jogger

  • You’ve binged watched your favorite Netflix show on a treadmill

  • You’ve gotten up at 2am to run a race

  • You’ve prepared a pre-race poop strategy

  • You’ve taken an ice bath

  • Your BRF (best running friend) knows more about your bodily functions than your significant other

  • You paint your other toenails black to match the black one from running

  • You own more compression socks than dress socks

  • You speak in acronyms; PR, BQ, DNF, LSD, HR, VO2

  • Your dog is the fittest pup in the neighborhood

  • Your holiday celebrations includes 5Ks

  • You run because it’s socially unacceptable to punch people in the face

  • You like to read funny blog posts about running

Did I miss any? Do you have anything to add to the list? I’d love to hear your suggestions!

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