Comparison is the thief of joy.
In this age of social media, it's more convenient than ever to peek at what everyone else is doing and use it as a measuring stick against your performance.
No matter what you do, someone is always running faster than you, running longer distances, lifting heavier weights, performing gravity-defying Yoga poses in exotic locations with better abs, while managing a perfect home and work life.
It's hard not to notice, but noticing and admiring someone else's achievements is different than comparing your journey to someone else's.
I hit a new PR (personal record) on my deadlift. It felt challenging but surprisingly achievable. I was proud of the weight I pulled off the floor, but I felt a slight hesitation when I was writing an Instagram post. I wanted to share my success, but I knew that compared to others, it wasn't brag-worthy. It was more than I ever lifted before. It was my record, but I follow a lot of fitness folks on Instagram, and I knew my number, while impressive to me, was quite average, even below average to experienced lifters.
I had to remember the P in PR is personal. It's my record. My best. As I continue to train, my best will continue to improve.
It's never a competition between you and strangers on Instagram. It's not a competition between you and your gym or running buddies—even though you might use friendly competition to push each other. It's always the race of new you against old you.
Are you better than yesterday, or last month, or last year?
We can all fall into the comparison trap; it's human nature. You can resist the urge to compare your journey to those around you with these strategies.
TRACK DIFFERENT TYPES OF IMPROVEMENTS
There is more than one way to judge fitness. Always look at the markers of how you have improved.
Have you improved in fitness (gotten stronger or faster)?
Do you feel better, sleep better, or have more energy?
Do you look better with improved body composition, better measurements, or do your clothes fit looser?
What about your blood markers? Do you have improved health?
All of these are positive results. So one person's weight lifting PR can not be compared to another athlete's improvement in health. They both are a reason for celebration.
REMEMBER HEALTH AND LONGEVITY IS AN ADMIRABLE GOAL TOO
Fitness is not about your scale weight or even the weight on the bar; it's ultimately about overall health and longevity. So before you compare yourself to the marathon runner, bikini, or weight lifting competitor, there are a few things to consider.
Some people with intense fitness goals, such as an ultra marathon, a bodybuilding show, or weightlifting competition, may sacrifice optimal health in pursuit of their goals.
I am not suggesting you shouldn't pursue those types of goals, or that there is anything wrong with them; these athletes are admirable in their dedication and discipline but get clear on what you want to get out of training. Health and longevity is a worthy goal too.
CONSIDER WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO (OR NOT DO) TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
For example, I could train to double my deadlift weight, but how would that affect my running training? Am I willing to sacrifice my running goals in pursuit of a strength goal? If the answer is yes, then great, I know I need to change my training accordingly.
But if the answer is no, then I need to work hard and focus on my current training. Comparing myself to someone with different goals is unproductive (even if I admire them and their achievements).
Are you willing to give up drinks with friends for six-pack abs, are you willing to devote every Sunday to marathon training for the next nine months? Get clear on what you ultimately want and are willing to do for it. Don’t compare yourself to someone with different priorities. Sunday with your family may be a higher value than four hours of running.
It's OK to have multiple goals, but conflicting goals will produce mediocre results. It's better to focus on one or two complementary goals that align with your values.
DON'T COMPARE YOUR BEGINNING TO SOMEONE'S MIDDLE
You can't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. We all start somewhere. Some people have more experience or even better genetics, but we all can make improvements in our health and fitness, but we have to start somewhere!
You can only improve by starting and staying with it. The athlete that is out-achieving you probably has more practice. Most people that are doing better than you likely have been consistent for a longer time. Keep going. If persistent action towards your goal is one of your top values, success is inevitable.
DON'T COMPARE YOUR REALITY TO SOMEONE'S FICTION
Be sure that you when you start to compare yourself to someone else's progress or records that you are looking at reality. Social media is full of fuzzy truth. There is photo-shop, fake before-and-after pictures, and people lying about performance and their use of performance-enhancing drugs.
Your honest effort in the real world is worth more every time.
Of course, not everyone is faking their accomplishments; still, most people put their best foot forward on social media (we all do it a bit, right?) by highlighting our achievements and burying our struggles. Keep in mind, if you are struggling, it's a normal, expected part of the training that everyone consistent in their practice has experienced—Everyone.
YOU GET OUT OF TRAINING WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT
If you workout three or four times a week for a year in pursuit of a specific goal, you'll be more successful than the average person. Most people don't put in the work long term. They start, they quit, then start again. Be consistent and deliberate in your training, and results will soar.
Make sure you are training for the results you want. You get out of training what you put into it, and different types of training produce different results. If you are aiming for weight loss, your programming will look a bit different than if you are training for muscle size, strength gains, or to run faster. You have to know what you are aiming for, then work backward from the goal to ensure your training will get you to your goal.
Be clear about your goals, values, and what you are willing to do (and give up) to achieve them. Stay the course with consistent behavior towards your goals. Use other people's accomplishments as proof it's possible, as motivation, maybe even as a training road map, but don't compare your journey to another person's experience.
Celebrate all the small wins along the way and remember that the P in PR is personal.
What have you achieved recently that’s worth celebrating? There’s no accomplishment too small.
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Questions? I’d love to help.
