Yesterday was Thanksgiving in the United States. If you celebrated, I hope you had the chance to spend quality time with family and friends over a delicious meal.
It's our holiday tradition to run a local turkey trot—or I should say, It's my tradition to insist my husband runs the local turkey trot with me. We always have fun, and it feels good to get in some activity before our little family dinner.
I know the holidays can be stressful for a lot of people. On top of the hectic travel, the financial stretch, uncertain weather, and dinner table politics, those of us that work so hard to live a healthy lifestyle sometimes have additional stress over what we should be thankful for — abundant food.
This week's flashback Friday is all about how to get back on track after holiday indulgences with the clean slate approach. I started the flashback Friday series because I've been writing this blog for five years, and I realized there are surely blog posts in the archives that you missed the first time around. It gives me a chance to update and add new thoughts to old ideas.
Flash Back Friday: Tips to get back on track after an indulgent meal.
Thanksgiving dinner for two in Fort Worth
It is meaningful to me because I spent a lot of years with an all-or-nothing mentality, and my weight reflected that mindset. The holidays were when I was on the "nothing" side of the all-or-nothing pendulum, so I quickly packed on weight.
It felt both great and terrible. I can't deny that eating junk food, in the moment, feels rewarding. I put diet and exercise out of my brain, and told myself I would enjoy the holidays. I would inevitably eat and drink too much, too often, but then I would end up feeling worse—physically and emotionally.
Then on January 1st, I'd be back to "all" on my healthy lifestyle and spend the first three months of the new year losing all the weight I had gained over the holidays. In those years, I never made any real progress in my fitness journey because I spent most of my time losing and gaining the same 20-30 pounds, year after year. It was exhausting. I had it all wrong.
WHAT IS ENJOYMENT?
I learned I could enjoy the holidays and live a healthy lifestyle at the same time.
Was I enjoying the holidays with frequent over-indulgences, or was that the story I was telling myself? Was feeling tired, sluggish, hungover, bloated, or foggy-brain enjoyable? Is it enjoyable to gain unwanted weight?
When I eat well, sleep well, exercise, and manage my stress with healthy practices, I feel more energized, happier, and healthier—that's what I enjoy most.
It's not to say I don't drink an occasional glass of wine, or enjoy the dessert—but when I do I savor it, then I move on.
The most surprising shift is when the foods you enjoy change. You start to crave and love healthy foods, and those junk foods lose their allure.
DO I NEED TO BE PERFECT?
I realized I didn't have to make the perfect choices all the time. I learned if I were consistent with healthy behaviors most of the time, then occasional holiday indulgences would have little to no impact on my goals. There was no need to stress about holiday meals.
There was a time I thought I had to be perfect because if I cheated, then I wasn't sure how long it would take me to get back on track again, could be days, weeks, or months! It was too risky; I didn't trust in my ability to wipe the slate clean and get back on track.
The perfection mentality backfired because if I wasn't perfect, I was a screw-up—and what does a screw-up do? She screws up! One slip up meant I could make ten slip-ups. Perfect or nothing breeds over-indulgences, guilt, shame, stress, and punishment-induced exercise, none of which are useful long-term motivators.
I improved when I stopped trying to be perfect and focused on doing the best I could most of the time. What a relief!
WHAT IS HEALTHY?
I learned that stressing over healthy eating was just as unhealthy as all those indulgences. A healthy lifestyle is more than how much you exercise and what you eat. It's how you manage stress, the quality of your relationships, how well you sleep, recover from exercise, and your mindset.
Obsessing over healthy foods is not healthy behavior. Sacrificing quality time with family or friends in the name of never consuming a processed carbohydrate is not healthy either.
The key is finding the right balance for you. No one knows you better than you—so the decision on what makes you look, feel, and perform your best, when you should indulge, when it's better to refrain, all should be decided by you—not your well-meaning aunt Phyllis.
WHICH IS BETTER: MODERATORS OR ABSTAINERS?
Gretchen Rubin writes about moderators and abstainers. She says some personality-types are better moderators; They do best when they have a little of everything in moderation. When they try to restrict or abstain, they feel deprived and eventually end up breaking down and over-indulging as a result. They have the most success with moderation, like me.
She says other personality-types are abstainers; When they try to moderate, it opens the doors to over-indulging. Moderation always leads to over-doing it, so they need to abstain to stay in control.
I think we all probably both moderate and abstain—in different circumstances. I lean heavier on the moderation side and only avoid a few foods that I know I have a hard time controlling myself around.
An alcoholic will abstain from alcohol because he knows a little drinking can lead to big trouble, he's likely tried to moderate his drinking with no success. But he might have no problem eating three cookies out of the box and leaving the rest on the counter for the next week, or next month. What's that like?
On the other hand, someone may have no issues with an occasional glass of red wine or two with friends, but can't open a family-size bag of vinegar and salt potato chips without polishing off every last one. What? Just me?
THE CLEAN SLATE APPROACH
The clean slate approach, as described in this blog post from a couple of years ago, helped me with the mindset I needed to move on when I over-indulged so that one poor choice didn't escalate into a week or a month of poor decisions. I learned to trust myself. I learned when I needed to moderate and when I needed to abstain.
I don’t have to stress about holiday meals, special occasions, working lunches, client dinners, or dinner parties because my healthy lifestyle has room for occasional indulgences—perfection not expected!
Yesterday, we enjoyed thanksgiving, the turkey trot, and especially the pumpkin pie. Today, it's back to normal; a healthy breakfast, a strength workout, (and maybe some leftovers)!
Please checkout today’s flashback Friday post to learn more about the clean slate approach.
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